Kit you are so encouraging! Here are a few reasons: 1. My husband use to say things like why are you so tired until he had all three for ONE weekend and he was a mess when I got home, the first words out of his mouth were ” how do you do this” my answer was ” You just do” Thank you for this, it put a smile on my face. this article was very spot on thank you. Ha! Being a mom just takes it to the next level for sure! But maybe that is just the exhaustion talking today. With special needs my son is more severe than my daughtor and takes so much focus to keep him “making good choices.” He had showed delays just before two years old and was very violant from around 2 to just after 4. he is doing so much better in most areas but still has control problems. There is the benefit, that I can leave the room for a short break and one of the other Teachers will watch them for me, not so when you are the mother and she is the only one there. Im a very anxious person anyway due to my mum and her mum..(massive OCD the pair of them because of controllibg behabiours by their partners) Its been so difficult trying to explain myself and understanding myself too. Between the potential for car seat meltdowns, explosive spit-ups and disastrous diaper blow-outs it has me on edge every time we leave the house in the car. It was great to read all of your posts. ), caregiving as work is so easy not to see. Now, I realize that the constant presence of my baby isn’t what’s making me tired; it’s the mental weight of the responsibility and concern. This is my burden to bear. Yes, we have made choices but to us Mothers who have to work 2 jobs to take care of our children women like you appear as high maintenance whiners who complain about no time and being exhausted yet you are still able to fire two paragraphs in response to a simple comment. I don’t care what your job is in life, this competitive crap needs to stop. We can’t say to each other “You don’t know tired!” because it’s all subjective. Some months my ex pays, some he doesn’t. You can extremely tired but happy in the long run. I actually am simultaneously thinking about how hard it is with little ones and how wonderful it is. He’s able to pass me the mental burden. I was only speaking of my experience working before children, most certainly not all jobs! Great post! You are too right, Erin! It really blows my mind how the working moms ALWAYS have to jump in and tear down the SAHMs and invalidate all of their struggles. Hunh… this actually make a lot of sense. So let’s stop mistreating each other and letting others think it’s ok to do so. And then when they finally do go to sleep, I just want to chill out and watch a TV show on the couch or read a book. Wow. Ha. How do you know my life! Thanks for sharing that! Wow, I am not the only one! I’m starting to work on putting my experiences/thoughts into the model on my own, but I thought it would be nice to have a little extra boost from you on a couple things. Give me strength… Thanks for the read. I stay home with a 3-year-old and 6-month-old. Been there, done that! The rest I can see and I feel to varying degrees even as a working mom, especially on the weekends. Some of us miss the milestones and the firsts because we do not have the luxury of being able to watch our children grow. A stay at home mum has no time to work…and no DAY OFF. You don’t have to be female to experience what you’re talking about here. Thanks for that, Linda. I had my month old on my lap, eating with my food two feet away from so she would not swipe my plate off the table. Bless you, girl! What a woman! We can be so tired even when it seems (to the outside world) like we never do much of anything since we’re home all day. You don’t know tired. I’m already hyper vigilant with everyone. Now I finally understand why I am so tired all the time. Yes, this is The Truth. Not all SAHM stories are the same. I googled everything I could think about but there was never really something that felt right, that felt genuine instead of just telling do’s and don’ts. I’m tuned in to every little noise. In addition we own our own business & we (I) home school my kids. I think the multitaskin realization (physical multitasking is one thing, mental is another) was so important for me and I feel less strung out and ragged as you said. My husband is gone a lot so sometimes it feels like I never get to clock off! Cutting a very long story ahort she eventualy recovered and we were sent home after 8 weeks of constant care. This is a great article with the exception being what she just listed above. This is a mom issue, not a stay at home mom issue. We encourage routines , independent play for your children, and a good sleeping system for everyone involved. I hope you dot think I’m trying to spam you. This took a huge toll on me in every way and thankfully, my life is more managable at the moment, but still I have a full day’s work to do everyday, and I’m still recovering from the more intense times. Create new account. I love these littles with all of my being but I don’t enjoy it all. We are people getting older, with not as much energy that we used to have, we are tired cuz were grownups doing grownup things. I was just highlighting the nature of watching someone else (or multiple someone else’s) all day. Last night I had a bit of work to do and I thougt, “I shouldn’t go to bed… it’s finally quiet!” ha! I needed to find this conversation tonight. I am 48 years old raising my 4 almost 4 year old grandson. I managed to do this job and get my kids to school each day, pick them up from school and get them to all the music lessons and events etc. I am on my feet and I don’t get a break. Has a sister who doest care and brother neither. Even after a house is “child-proofed” there will still be many times when your young ones will attempt something (even if they only attempt it once) that is dangerous to them. Oh how much I loved reading this post, especially the part where your say “You are weary because everyday last week you made sure your little ones had food in their bellies, even if it wasn’t mostly organic and preservative free”. Clothes, is ignorant. Plus my husband travels a lot for work. Also from 2014 to 2016 when they passed away helped care for my grandparents. Category: Uncategorized Reflection #285. x. Wonderful article. THREE 5 YEAR OLDS!!! boy and 21 month old girl!!!!!! I agree that sometimes you can feel as though you are “getting away with something” by staying home. Lol, http://homeschoolingmamacita.blogspot.com/. But I think the point to the article is not that working mom’s aren’t tired but that many people assume because a mom gets to stay home that she has it easy. Clearly you have a lot on your hands and I wish only rest and happiness in your life. I think your article applies to more than just SAHMs. He is very pale skinned anyway, but he has bags under his eyes? Read: 5 Things Emotionally Exhausted Moms Need To Hear. Marriage, Mom Life Why Your Wife Is Always So Tired. Im a extreme multi tasker because I also have a job that I do from home with 2 small kids. Perhaps auto pilot is the only answer! In Philippians 2:3-4 Paul was encouraging believers to treat each other well. That was before I had a teenager with a boyfriend and a driver’s license and an opinion. Nice to read about others going through this roller-coaster journey as I navigate mine;) Hope that helps! The truth is, I need to just help myself and continue to pray to my Lord and Savior! A lot can happen in 5 minutes to help you make it through until the next 5 minutes. She can only speak from her perspective. I think because I’m very similar to my mother so them being with her is almost like them being with me. I am always on, always aware, always on duty. You are lucky to be able to stay at home with your children while your husband works. Hope you get the rest you need :). Even my marriage seemed like it was on the brink of extinction and this had happened in 2 weeks! These articles about sahm’s are not there to pretend we have it tougher than working moms, they are written for US, sahm’s, to help us understand WHY we are so tired at the end of the day, because when we look back at most of our days, we took care of the kids, did a bit of laundry, a bit of dishes, a bit of cooking…. I felt a little better when I read your post about how much I do already just keeping them alive and happy. There are some downsides – the continuos breast pumping, angry customers or bosses, sudden deadlines, all-nighters, kids’ tantrums, and kids being looked after a bit differently than I would do it. I had to prepare years in advance, though: help relatives with their issues, build a network of older friends, read a lot on how to raise kids that sleep/eat/play independently, support husband in learning childcare, find a job that allows for flexibility and acquire the skills necessary…. I know it is cliché but really do not worry about the dishes or the laundry. In my case the aggravating neighbour or city worker loudly banging away at my door disturbs my client call quality. The former is an alertness that is very tiresome, but the latter is something that is crippling and painful in ways that are hard to even describe. There is pretty much no need to even include my spouse as he lacks in many areas than I can mention. Using dishes ,making messes , etc. My wife works a demanding job and comes home with more energy than I have, and it made me think there’s something physically wrong with me. That pretty much explains it all. Take care. And for all the single mum’s out there with no family support there are no words – you are all amazing women xo, Such a realistic view , lived it and love it andproud if those days , grandma x. I appreciate you saying you are proud of those days. In the few short days that I have been exercising this method I truly have noticed a change for the better in his response to me. We are told we can and should be using our brains and education and challenging ourselves and challenge the male corporate/business marketplace but guess what???? Not dragging each other down. After coming home my husband saw how distraught I have been and said, “I think you have it good… You get to spend time with our son and not worry about working. There’s still not a perfect solution for this, but at least I know how to communicate it now! But caring for 6 year old and 85 year old takes it toll. That’s why you’re a tired mom… Normally, the term “hyper vigilance” is used in clinical settings. When I walk from one room to the other I put away 3 things in the process. You hit the nail on the head! As the 9-5 parent in the house, my husband has brought much of this up (he stays at home). Check out our Christmas Eve Box ideas! I just wanted to say thank you for your easy peasy routine for 2 year olds! Watch Queue Queue. I carefully read through your schedules and decided to try it. And then I found your website and read your pieces about sleeping and eating. The other two days they have for housework and so on. Thank you for this post and I am looking forward to reading the helpful resources. We have a small farm of our own and my husband has his family’s farm AND we help with my mom’s farm. I hope I can extend it to say we can be proud of ourselves too in the thick of it! Gillianna has cystic fibrosis, for you all that don’t know what that is it is a genetic disorder that causes the body to over produce mucus and lose to much salt. Why is it that stay at home moms, for the most part, respect working moms and single mothers because they realize their worth? Are you just out to get stay at home moms? You put it perfectly! This explains alot. A working mom can take a nap with her children during the day. I will make a phone call, change a diaper and hold a baby at the same time. It makes us feel guilty because nope, I’m not fully enjoying it all. I miss working actually. Oh, how I’d love to go back for just a day and have a sweet one nuzzled on my chest as he sleeps, laugh at a toddler toddling, see that little fist with the just-picked wild flowers and a child smiling up at me! At the same time you love all your young babies it is just really flipping hard, isn’t it? Even with someone doing some of the chores though, it’s still up to mom to manage everything. Glad you added that to the comments! 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